Dear....

To the mum that brings in her 4 year old half an hour before her class begins. The fact that your child does not stop talking does not make her endearing. When she was two perhaps her first words were worthy of some careful and reserved praise, however there comes a time in every childs life when they need to recognize that they are but another prop in the theatre of existence. Do you know how many souls are born every second? neither do i but ill bet its alot. Yet you persist with the idea that she is .... special. In fact not only do you laugh when she is downright annoying, you laugh with her as if you were old girlfriends giggling about the boy you used to have a crush on. Heres a tip, yelling "nani yo" (what?) while pushing your baby sibling back and forth does not the quipster make. Do you know what kind of psychological damage you are inflicting by teaching your child that they are special? Did it occur to you that the people around her have work to do. That person on the computer over there? See how theyre not making eye contact with you and have brought their face to within centimeters of the screen? Thats because they were working before you brought your hell bound banshee into our personal space. the only reason you havnt been told about your complete lack of social hygiene is that alas, you are the customer and said person is too nice to say anything. I on the other hand know that I can go home and yell at the internet.

Today one of my infinitly cuter students was wearing a tshirt that read

I FEEL NOTHING BUT HAPPINESS WHEN I EAT A POTATO.

Posting on websites is much more fun