Merry Christmas Everyone!

Trash and TreasRRRR! arrr!

This is going to be the longest most indulgant blog I think I have ever written, partly because it consists of three blogs, one i started last week but didnt finish about selling all my childhood memories at the Coburg Trash and Treasure this sunday and the second part a truer reflection fo my feelings this week entitled "why I hate Australia" alternative title "all Australians are stupid particularly my brother". Finally, I wanted to mention an autistic gentleman i met while waiting for a bus. Its actually going to be so long that if you make it to the botttom of this one you deserve a certificate or a t-shirt that recognizes your achievement, perhaps with some lewd sexual innuendo for good measure. You would be able to see this blog from the moon, its that big.

So first the important stuff...

I have to clean out my old bedroom to get ready for the painters next week so instead fo being hungover this sunday me and jesse will be hungover and having a market stand at the coburg trash and treasure market.
so now is your chance to take a piece of gram home with you. quality books going out the door, raymond chandler, burgess, some beat up copies of classics that if you havnt read you should. even some shit books as well (jim morrisons poetry...man being 15 sucked) perhaps I want to make a little bit of money but really i just want an excuse to spend a day in coburg. let the culture shock roll on.

As well as the stuff to be sold theres going through the stuff to be thrown out. Every day we are loading up mums car going down to the papermill and it shows no signs of stopping. I still had flyers for every rave party or concert i went to or thought about going to for the last 15 years, essays and things i wrote going back high school, swimming certificates from when i was 5, piles of rolling stone magazines from the mid 90s, cassette tapes with Jive bunny and the master mixers written on them, 80s mad magazines with lame parodys of fast forward, beverly hills cop and teenage mutant nija turtles on the cover, movie trading cards. I used to keep all this because i thought it would all be valuable one day like i was going to be John Lennon and theyd be auctioning it at at Sothebys. Luckily my teenage narrcist stage is behind me and replaced by a heartless yuppy stage that sees it all as depressing clutter.

remember juice magazine? they had angie hart on the cover of the first issue when she was the it girl, she was topless and wearing nothing but beads to cover her nipples but if you squinted your eyes just right you could see them anyway. it was controversial at the time but seems lame now (especially after watching that beastiality movie with Ronan and Anna the other night)

Im not sure what to do with my old dungeons and dragons set. For those of you that wann dis me for being a nerd....let me correct you. dungeons and dragons was bad ass. Remember the rumor that people that played dungeons and dragons ended up taking it so seriously that when their characters died they killed themselves? thats right all you kids were TOO SCARED to play Dungeons and Dragons, Dungeons and Dragons when you were 11 was like taking Fantasy or Ketamine when you were 21, or listening to marilyn manson when you were 15, or drinking orange juice with the furry stuff when you 5. You knew the risks but you did it anyway...coz you were badass. And by you, I mean me and everyone else that played d n d (thats what people in the know called it, we were even using text message abbreviations before you (and this time i mean you but not you because your reading this blog and that means your cool) ??!!!!?!?!?!?!

So cut a long boring ass blog short (but still way longer than it should be) This Sunday I am going to stand in Coburg proudly displaying these former possesions with Jesse like only a couple of spoilt white upper middle class kids ever could. Its who I am and Im proud of it. Perhaps a kid whose parents cant afford to buy them a Nintendo Wii will get our old sega master system with the inbuilt game "alex kids adventure", in time for christmas.

As it turns out Ill talk about Australia another time. I think I may have sorted out my problems with Centrelink so it seems a little bit ungrateful to bitch about a country that pays me $380 a fortnight to sit on my fat one over summer. Also, looking at the bus drivers sunburnt arm on the way to meredith i felt like everyone on the bus was my family and Dad was just taking us to Bonnie Doon for the weekend.

You are a bunch of slack bastards though (and by you i dont mean you, you managed to read this much, you're a go getter by the sound of it, i hope you do well)

as for the autistic guy at the bus stop all ill say is opening line to a complete stranger was not "do you know what time the bus is?" but "housing isnt cheapest in alaska of all the american states, its actually one of the more expensive places you can buy a house"
he then told me what the top 10 most dangerous books of all time were according to a human sources magazine with his back to me.