Myspace
By a months standards february is a bit of a pussy. At a 28 days, he's the short man of month team. Worse, he's squezzed between janurary and march; two man sized 31 day months and if that wasnt bad enough, for no reason at all theres an silent r in the middle that makes it the most difficult month to spell. Theres no doubt about it. February has an uphill battle and I havnt even mentioned the identity crisis it must have every leap year. On the plus side its the only month that 3 out of 4 times can boast being a factor of seven so when I woke up this morning and realised Id been in Japan for 4 weeks, it also meant i could celebrate my first month back by being slightly hungover and sitting around johns apartment all day wearing a t shirt with the heater on.
Hoorah.
Since my new job doesnt start untill april and i have secured accomodation on johns couch for the next two weeks, i have more spare time than my brother. And so i have discovered one of the great time wasters of the twenty first century.. Myspace.
thats right..remember when i bagged myspace for simply being a way for pathetic people to pretend they were cool by listing a bunch of people they thought were their friends and then consumate these rather tenous bonds by leaving a comment for all to see, publicly validating their existance but essentially just showing the whole world their pathetic need to appear popular? remember when i agreed whole heartedly, nodding with sage like wisdom when others pointed out news limiteds interest in finding out all sorts of information about whoever they wants buying patterns, demographics, peer to peer marketing et al. Especially given the demographics of the typical myspace user are traditioanlly the most valuable, able to buy many a trufufler coat of the greedy lorax. (i am making sense if youve read dr seuss, dont worry ill quote borat later on)
as far as i can tell this is what you do. you tell people a little bio about yourself. you put up some pictures or music or stuff you think is cool (since when was having a scrapbook, online or not, cool by the way) and then you wait like a spider by his web for friends to drop by. then when you realise that you actually need friedns to make friends you throw the cunning spider/web theory out the window and start sending out invitiations. people i have know for 15 years last week were getting emails with the subject "gram wants to be your friend"
so far ive spent hours on this thing and got absololutley nothing in return, except that i learned that amelia and vince got married and that some other people i havnt seen in a while have opened accounts and seem equally confused with what to do with it. the biggest trap is going..oh yeah...her! remembering some girl you flirted for five minutes with 4 years ago and going..i wonder..if thats her, then feeling pathetic when you find out it is but so what....your no closer to her than you were when you she started dancing with that other guy the first time you met. it helps to feel less pathetic if you trim your nails and have a shave before going on myspace, theres nothing like wasting a day on this sort of activity and being badly groomed to help boost your ego a few points. (would a loser use sarcasm)
One more thing ive leanrt from myspace is that if you put up a photo of yourself in a hat that makes you look like somebody who listens to craig david and dances in front ofthe mirror, girls youv never met before who may or may notlisten to craig david and dance in front of the mirror send you messages and this in turn leads you to return this voyeuristic interest by looking at their page and then you reaise thats its three o clock in the afternoon and you havnt bought the bread yet.
HI FIVE!